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About Literature / Artist Community Volunteer just a drunk with a pen.32/Male/United States Groups :iconbeacritic: BeACritic
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Deviant for 4 Years
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Random from Awesome F'N Reads

Here's a gift from me to you. And yes, I'm a total narcissist. 

5 deviants said Now send me some holiday DD suggestions please! :eager:
3 deviants said



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just a drunk with a pen.
Artist | Literature
United States
Skype User ID: fenris242

'The beauty in life, where's it gone?'

Journal Entry: Wed Dec 17, 2014, 9:32 AM
Traditionally, yesterday is the worst day of the year for me every year.  It's a day that's always held great tragedy for me.  But a few years ago, I opened up for the first time and years and told someone why it was such a horrible day.  Up until then, there were four people in the world that knew why I hated December 16th with such a passion.  It was heartbreaking to open up, but it was necessary.  Of course the fact that it was done when I was slightly intoxicated helped.  Otherwise, I probably never would have said a word.  And she listened.  And she let me get it out.  And I felt slightly better about it. 

It was the following year that the Aunt demanded I open up about it.  That I get the nasty out of me once and for all, and I did.  And it felt horrible as soon as I wrote it.  I wanted to curl up into a ball and ignore everyone and every thing.  I didn't realize then, but I later figured out why.  Why it bugged me so much to let it out.  It showed weakness and since I'm a very young boy, I've been trained to not show any form of weakness.  It gives others an opportunity to abuse you.  Weakness is bad.  Showing feelings is a weakness.

But here I am, two years after writing that horrible story about the worst day in my entire life, and you know what?  Yesterday wasn't as bad as it normally is.  Maybe it has something to do with the massive amounts of counseling I had last year.  Or the massive amounts of liquor I went through.  I'm not sure which one I benefited from more. 

I don't feel strangled any more.  Like I have to keep this locked up and hidden for eternity.  I can share things about myself and my past and not feel ashamed or embarrassed.  I survived hell and for the most part, I've turned out to be a well functioning adult.  Not perfect.  No one is.  But I don't hide behind the stigma that I need to keep myself locked away.  That I have to keep my heart locked away.

For this revelation, I have to thank a few individuals.  evil83angel because she lives with me and she puts up with more than you can possibly imagine.  But she's also the first person ready to call it a duvet day and cuddle under the covers when the monsters get too scary.  And Jarod, because even though he can't always take a vacation day and cuddle, he's here right after work and he's calling the dogs up onto the bed and we all snuggle butt together and it's lovely.  Finally, I have to thank thorns for being that first person to listen to me.  You've no idea how much you've helped me over the few years we know each other.  You also never cease to amaze me with a message every year, asking how my day is going on December 16th.  :heart:

Now, go on and go back to your regularly scheduled holiday cheer and leave the sappy old man in his rocking chair.

My Wish List

Journal Entry: Wed Dec 10, 2014, 12:40 PM
I was tagged by:  TheGalleryOfEve Sserenita CelticStrm-Stock and ginkgografix


Make a post to your DA journal. The post should contain your list of ten holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple ("I'd love a ______ icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("all I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV."). The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.

Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your DA or link to this post so that the holiday joy will spread.


Surf around your friends list (or friends' friends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now, here's the important part:

If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use -- do it.

You need not spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf -- to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not -- it's your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Give, and you might receive. and you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.


Cards for this little girl.
More participation with the BeACritic Challenges
Any of my dA Wish List items
A bit of mischief because the holidays aren't the holidays without mischief


thorns Beccalicious Tales-of-Tao wreckling IrrevocableFate SingingFlames and C-A-Harland 

Writing Out Christmas Cards

Journal Entry: Fri Dec 5, 2014, 1:46 PM

I've been writing out my Christmas cards over the last couple nights.  This is something new to me.  Normally evil83angel just writes out the cards and has me add my signature (sometimes she just signs for me).  But I've decided to join in the fun this year and I purchased a couple stacks of Greeting Cards and Post Cards from the Print Shop here on dA (oops, I mean, DA).  It's taking a little longer than I thought because the cards are blank so I have to write in a message.  Which isn't hard because y'all are awesome!  But, this morning my phone went off almost as soon as I got to work with an email from Jesse.  She sent me a link to an article about a little girl.  She's only six years old and this will be her last Christmas.  Her family is asking anyone out there to send a Christmas card so she can get a lifetime's worth of cards this year.

I'm going to make sure to add this sweet little girl to my list and even have the Princess make a homemade card for her too.  So when you're writing out your cards this year, maybe you could include this little girl.  Here's the address to send to:

Addie Lynn & Sisters
PO Box 162
Fountain Green, UT 84632

It's a simple thing, will only cost a stamp but will put a huge smile on not only a little girl's face but also the face of everyone that loves her.



Add a Comment:
fenicksreborn Featured By Owner 9 minutes ago  Student Writer
Thank you for the favorite on my "If I Could DD..." journal!  :-)
GoldenNocturna Featured By Owner 1 hour ago  Student Writer
Thanks for the fave! :)
GrimFace242 Featured By Owner 1 hour ago   Writer
Always. You're very welcome.
GoldenNocturna Featured By Owner 1 hour ago  Student Writer
Is it me, or has your profile pic been changing a lot lately?:baffled: 
GrimFace242 Featured By Owner 1 hour ago   Writer
Only a couple times.  This is what happens when I have an identity crisis.  Which isn't a bad thing.  Last time, it gave me Raving Slendy!
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