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:icongrimface242: More from GrimFace242


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Submitted on
March 11, 2013
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It's not you, it's me. I know it's the oldest excuse in the book, but hey, when it works, it works. Did you really see this lasting longer than a couple months? When does anything last longer than a couple months with me? I hope we can still be friends.

 

Yeah, 'cause everyone wants to be friends with the ex-lover. Like it ever works.


You know me. You know the type of person that I am. I've never been able to settle down. My heart wanders like a nomad. It seeks shelter where it's offered but only stays long enough to get warm. Attachment isn't an option for me. My mind is too warped. It's too dark to ever let someone in. Truly let someone in.


No, fuck! That's all wrong. It's too personal.  Too emotional.  Let me try again.


I don't want to do this, but I'm only going to hurt you if I don't.  And that's the last thing I want to do. So I'm ending this before it goes too far. I completely understand if you never want to talk to me again.


That would work if it wasn't a complete lie.


I want to hurt you. Cause as much pain as I can. I want to rip you down until the only thing left is your bare bones and beating heart. Just naked and raw and open. Because that's exactly how I feel every time you look at me.


You have this way of seeing straight through my care-free facade. You know when my smile is fake because it doesn't reach my eyes.  Or the way I twitch at the sound of glass shattering. Hell, the sound of a glass being knocked over makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. And I absolutely love that you know how to brush your hand against mine to make all that anxiety disappear.


When I'm lying in bed unable to sleep because I've been having that dream the last couple nights. I'm afraid to even close my eyes in fear of the images assaulting me but then I hear the faint sound of my phone buzzing three rooms away. With nothing else to do, I might as well check and see if it's an email or voicemail. But it's neither. It's a text. Three simple words. Calm down. Sleep. You're not here, but you know I can't sleep. You can feel it.  And I can lay down, curl up under the duvet, and wrap my arms around an extra pillow.  Imagine what it would feel like with your arms wrapped around me.  Protecting me from those haunting memories.  Sleep can finally come.


I don't want to hurt you. I don't think I could ever hurt you. I could never allow anything bad to happen to you. I want to keep you whole and safe. Protected where you don't have to feel naked and raw. No one is going to touch your heart. You can have mine to repair the holes left by those before me. I don't need it anymore. You're my heart now.

*linaket introduced me to this song. And it just made me write this.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-05-12
Breakup Speech by `GrimFace242 is as conflicted as the real thing. ( Featured by neurotype )
:iconiyraemm:
IyraEMM Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
this was said to me once. i wanted to hate him and his reasons but it was so understandable, i ended up admiring him even more. 

great piece! 
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:icongrimface242:
GrimFace242 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014   Writer
I've used all of those at one time or another.  Some because I was weak and just used an excuse while others were well, a bit deeper and scarier to acknowledge. 

Thank you.
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:iconiyraemm:
IyraEMM Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
ah i see. 

you're welcome :nod:
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:iconcelvas:
Celvas Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2014
I like the casual beginning. Some guy getting away while the getting's still good, and with minimum drama. The first cracks: justification, reflecting blame, "It's me, but hey, you knew it would happen." Efforts to convince himself more than anyone else. He just has to get rid of her fast, destroying a good thing before it can hurt him. Anger. The way she looks at him and sees he's not perfect, the way she knows him better than even he does. The dam breaks, the flood comes. Betting it all on her.

My favourite line is: "That would work if it wasn't a complete lie."
The more powerful lines are always my favourite lines.

The writing style is solid. Each jump in mood gives an answer and poses a question. Well structured, tailored for purpose. If that's what you do when you're winging it, I can only compliment you on your instincts.
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:icongrimface242:
GrimFace242 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014   Writer
:blush:

It actually took me about thirty minutes to write this.  I edited it a bit after that, just to polish it and get rid of some of the crap, but I just drew on personal experience and what I was feeling at that time in regards to the person I was seeing.  Sadly, like always, I ruined it.
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:iconcelvas:
Celvas Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014
You ruined the writing or you feel you failed to quite catch the experience you were going for? :?
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:icongrimface242:
GrimFace242 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014   Writer
:lmao:  Neither.  I ruined the relationship I was using to capture the feels I wanted in this.
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:iconcelvas:
Celvas Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014
My third theory. But I was so deep in writer mode I thought, "Naw."
(Woah, your avatar was really freaking my brains out. Lucky I didn't look at it straight. Why'd you change it, anyway? Such a nice youvatar it was. :curious:)
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:icongrimface242:
GrimFace242 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014   Writer
I love my Raving Slenderman avatar.  I faced my avatar for a bit, but I had to go back to Slendy.  I may in the future go back to a pic avatar, but not now.  :dummy:
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:iconcelvas:
Celvas Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014
I see. Well, let me know so I can unblock it then. :)
(To clarify, I'm not a bitch, I just have epilepsy.)
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