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Submitted on
July 6, 2012
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Little boy, little boy.
Won't you come here.
Little boy, little boy.
Won't you stay here.

He cries in the dark.
Stands strong in the world.
Fears that old monster.
Slowly learns to push back.

Young man, young man.
Won't you come back.
Young man, young man.
Won't you ever return.

He catches the strap.
Shatters the firewater.
Freeing himself.
Sheds not a tear.

Old man, old man.
Won't you help them.
Old man, old man.
Will you ever go back?
This is what happens when I critique poetry.....

I actually think I can write it.
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:iconkaiserkat:
KaiserKat Feb 17, 2013  Student Filmographer
This is fantastic. So many emotions brought into this with the stages of life. Congratulations on a well deserved lit pick!
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:icongrimface242:
Thanks.
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:iconpoetic-paradise:
Poetic-Paradise Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful. Congrats on getting =star-blazer's lit daily pick today! This was wonderful.
Reply
:icongrimface242:
Thank you.
Reply
:icontmcanada:
TMCanada Jul 7, 2012  Student Writer
Wow you are good at romance and poetry? I officially hate you
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:icongrimface242:
I wouldn't consider this good. In fact, I'd consider it horrible. But it came outta my head, so it got posted.
Reply
:icontmcanada:
TMCanada Jul 7, 2012  Student Writer
So you are basically saying your crap is better than my best stuff. Okay I understand lol
Reply
:icongrimface242:
No, this is crap. I'm certain yours is much better than this. Because it's crap.
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