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:icongrimface242: More from GrimFace242

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Submitted on
January 23, 2013
Submitted with Writer


3 (who?)

Be A Critic Volume 7

Wed Jan 23, 2013, 8:28 AM


WreckageHe stole my virginity, put it in a box. Tied it with a slimy bow,
one that fastens and locks. Threw it in the fire, watched it sizzle
and burn. Started to take my value, burned it taking turns.
He trapped me in leather, smothered me till I died. Threw my body
in the trash, never even cried. Left me there to rot, left me
for the rats. Skin pallid, limbs limp, eyes as black as bats.
He left then, and somehow I returned. Crawled through the wreckage,
void of all concern. Eyes were black and lips were cracked. I
wandered like a lifeless doll, feeling I'd been smacked.
He never returned, never said sorry. Left me in the dark at the
bottom of a quarry. Now I'm walking with a limp, soundless and
mute. I hope you know it wasn't fun, it wasn't even cute.
ChildChild, child, little child,
insulted forever, and forever wild.
Today you'll break, and tomorrow you'll fall,
and my name you'll call and call.
You'll ask for me now, now and again,
sometimes in voice and others with pen.
You're not much better, you never were,
yet you talked with a condescending purr.
Life would bite you with merciless venom,
ripping through your heart of denim.
Spewing hatred to and fro,
you make yourself a pitiful foe.
Child, child, wasted child,
insulting forever and forever wild.

The Challenge

:bulletblack: Pick at least one of the thumbs above*
:bulletblack: Read it
:bulletblack: Comment or Critique it**
:bulletblack: Leave a comment on THIS journal with the following:
:bulletwhite: A link to your comment on the deviation you chose***
:bulletwhite: A link to one of your deviations you'd like to have feedback on

:bulletblack: Wait for the results to come out!

Start Date: NOW!

End Date: February 5, 2013 @ 11:59PM EST

The Prizes

:bulletblack: One random winner will receive a comment/critique from me.
:bulletblack: A second random winner will receive 50:points:

Winners from Volume 6

:bulletblack: thecrazymagnet won a comment/critique from me. 
:bulletblack: Operia won 50:points:

Interested in being Featured?

Awesome! It's real simple to sign up.  Just drop me a note with the thumbcodes to three of your deviations you'd like to receive feedback on.  Prose, poetry, scripts, anything!  But, before you send me the note, please make sure that the deviations you're choosing have a couple questions in the author's comments.  It's much easier to give feedback on something if you know what the author isn't sure about.

*Commenting/critiquing on more than one of the deviations will increase your odds of winning.  There is a strict limit of three entries per deviant.
**A Comment is a few lines, possibly a paragraph, about your opinion of the story.  It usually includes something that you really liked and should include at least one thing that can be improved.  A Critique is many paragraphs about the deviation and will include both personal opinion as well as correction to technical errors.
***To get a link to your comment, once you've submitted it, click on the time stamp.

Bi-Weekly Critiquing Challenge : Featuring =Keko-Meko this week.
Add a Comment:
Euxiom Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Oh so thaaaaaaat's what this is.

camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I critiqued Crater - [link]

I would appreciate (love!) critique on [link] but if that didn't suit, absolutely anything in my gallery.
GrimFace242 Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013   Writer
Your link for crit is to your comment.

Toss me a fresh link when you get a chance so I can have it on file.
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Woops! Good job, self! :fishshake:

Let's try this again, shall we? ;)
History [link]
GrimFace242 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013   Writer
Got it. Thank you.

I'm catching up with my critiques this week, so I'll be sure to get this one done too so I don't fall behind!

Thanks again for participating
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh yay, thank you! (I know what you mean about falling behind... once you do it's like you just keep getting further back no matter how much time you put in!)
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
How do you link to just your own comment?
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Never mind, found it! :)
Goldfish-In-Space Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013   Writer
Here's my Critique on "Child" [link]

Here's a piece I would love some feedback on! [link]
GrimFace242 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013   Writer
Welcome back and thanks for continuing to participate! :la:

You've been entered into the prize pool.
Add a Comment: